There have been many times over the years that I’ve felt my words have been inadequate in expressing how I truly feel about you and I’ve decided that I’ll never really be able to put it down into words. But here it is, my best shot at the million thank you’s you deserve.
I remember when I first told you I was pregnant. I was 22 years-old, and I felt about 12 in that moment. I was so desperate for your approval and so desperate to tell you because, in truth, I needed my mum.
I was terrified. I’m sure you’ll remember. Not because of your reaction. But because I was 22 years-old. And I hadn’t planned to become a mother so soon. I was worried because my heart was already in love with this baby, but I didn’t know what to do. I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to afford to be a mother. I was worried that I wasn’t married. I was worried we’d have nowhere to live. That maybe I might have let you down.
In the end, I exploded at you, in tears. And I’ll never forget how quick you were to make me feel like everything was going to be okay.
And it was, you selflessly did everything you could to make it sure it was that way.
You were there with us when both our babies came into the world and we now share a bond that only makes our relationship stronger. Now I know when you say “I love you” to me, it comes from a deep rooted place that has been fiercely growing since you first held me nearly 29 years ago. That’s an awful lot of love.
Over the past six years as well as many other things you’ve also provided us with a home. Somewhere safe, warm and incredibly lovely to bring our babies home each night. And money has never crossed hands, not really, not enough. And I don’t think words or actions will ever do just how grateful we are any justice. I know it’s been special and fun and you wouldn’t have changed a thing but it’s not always been easy; you’ve put up piles of laundry, grubby faces and sticky fingers all over your furniture and Sophia trying to redecorate your lounge with Pritt Stick and Post-it notes to name just a few.
In a few weeks we’ll have moved out into our first home. And I know it won’t be easy for you and you’ll be a bit sad. I know that you’re thinking that the bond you have with me and my babies may be affected. That your heart might break a little. And I understand that. And it makes me sad that to move forward it feels like we have to leave you behind.
As excited as we are about this new chapter, there is so much we will miss about being at home with you. Watching you feed the cats with the kids in the morning, hearing you playing games or crafts upstairs, our late night chats, your roast dinners and ironing service. But I’ll make sure I’m back for the last two – don’t worry!
I want to say thank you. Thank you for supporting me. And for putting me first. Thank you for telling me, all those years ago, that it would be okay.
I’ll always love you. I’ll always appreciate you. And my children will too because you made their mummy happy. You made it easier on her. And helped her. Which made them happy too.
I love you.